Dragons Are Real…just ask the Ukrainians

Dragons In the Ukraine

Dragons plagued the Ukrainian lands for centuries. Many had disturbingly high pitched screamed that pierced the quiet Ukrainian nights. They flourished in Ukraine because like most east european countries the winters were cold the skies were dark and the militia was busy with other “economical” matters. Now you westerners may be wondering why Dragons no exist in your farms.

It simple. Propaganda.

Don’t believe me…check out this site.

Your Capitalist government controls media more than in Ukraine even under Soviet control. Dragons are a part of nature in the rest of the world. How absurd you ask? Dragons are to Everyone as Canaries were once to miners.

With the slightest hint of, say, massive tear in ozone, smog, acid rain, strange fluctuations in temperature, even heightened levels of sound and light pollution a dragon will flee!

Dragons are shy animals who take many precautions.

When they foresee that the land they reside on will soon die, they migrate. As did all dragons in North america, more than a century ago. That’s what your government doesn’t want you to know. Luckily for us, western obsession with material gain has not yet infected our citizens. Our airs is clean and crisp and our land is tranquil and healthy.

Candles light our homes and the night skies are filled with stars. Well, today, Its a little different. But when I was a small boy times were very simple.

How did we deal with dragons? We didn’t. We sometimes heard them, rarely saw them, but ever so often a turd the size of a baby walrus would come crashing down from the sky, drowning everything it hit in a sticky awful goop.

It’s hard for most people to believe that I was so unfazed by these colossal beasts with the power to destroy a small village in minutes casually floating around above my head. But is it not so that we swim in lakes where crocodiles breed?

…That we run through the grass where venomous snakes nest? We eat food that contain chemicals known to cause cancer and we propel ourselves around in metal air-conditioned coffins at high speeds only relying on our own reflexes and the reflexes of those around us to keep us safe while car accidents steal thousands of lives every day.  We are surrounded by predators. What’s new?

These things all share a common theme, they are dangers that surround us which have the potential to end fatally, that we are aware of yet numb too.  Even when we do see an accident on the side of the road we will still continue driving to and from work everyday. Enough philosophy. Dragons are as special as alligators in the everglades and sharks in the ocean.

But just because no-one cares about them doesn’t mean they aren’t monstrous and dangerous.  Interesting story, dragons attract their mates via their shiny skin.

When Kings brought gems jewels and and other treasures into their castles, the shimmer and reflection of the treasures would attract any horny dragon within 20 miles. The dragon would come down expecting to find himself a beautiful dragon woman, and instead he finds a bunch of sweaty humans and useless glitter. A

horny dragon, is an angry dragon, and the enraged and… cough… erect beast would go on a wild rampage destroying cities and ruining their treasure.

Dragons are sentimental beings… and somehow connected the treasure to a dead female dragon. They would collect it all and bury it to honor the deceased female.

That’s where the myth of dragons stealing and eating jewels arose. People believed Dragons would keep the treasures in a cave and guard it. And that they were greedy animals. When really they were just very very horny and very upset finding a dead female dragon ripped into a thousand places. Then, in a sad ritual buried the “female”.

That’s why most dragons really don’t like humans. They think we are savages! I don’t blame them.

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